I am falling in love
"His mercies are NEW every morning"
with God - all over again.
It's amazing to know that He loves me like no one else can. Like I'm the only person He sees.
And that He loves all of us the same.
That He pursues me. He wants my whole heart. He needs me. He plans things out - lines things up to show me His love. To communicate His love.
How cool that He made us to NEED relationships. And that those relationships can and should mirror the relationship and LOVE that He has for us. That we GET to be that Love spoken tangibly to each other. That Love shown tangibly to each other.
It's good to be a part of.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Proverbs 3:3-4
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
Love and Faithfulness.
Do I have enough of those in my life?
Love and Faithfulness.
Do I have enough of those in my life?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
a little seed
it's amazing to see in life how everything starts off as a seed.
thinking about my business. it was a seed. i went to a party. loved the jewelry. had a great time. loved the advisor. so i hosted a show. did not have a clue that it would turn into a career for me. didn't have a clue that it would change my life. in many ways.
krista going to Australia. started as a seed. a thought to do what she's always dreamed of doing. traveling. seeing the world. experiencing other cultures.
joel in portland and then peru. started off as a seed. furthering his education on his own. then traveling to further academic education and personal education. being immersed in a culture.
mom with her early childhood conferences. she will never know the impact that her "small" seed will have on the early childhood world. her love for children and their education is evident in these conferences. she gives all that she has and loves doing it.
dad with his investment properties. started as a seed. way back when. "if only he had invested sooner" but the point is he's doing it now. he had a dream. a seed a long time ago and now he is pursuing it. he is watering it.
all things in our lives start off as seeds. the possibilities of of the growth are endless. some are meant to grow continually through out life. and some just for a season. looking at the seed we can't know which it will be. it's our job to take care of the seeds we're given.
how will we take care of it? will we choose water it - even when there is doubt that nothing may come from it?
SEEDS GROW. when there is good nutrition. water. good soil. sun. we need to provide the action of "watering" but we can't provide the sun!
not ALL seeds will grow into what WE want them to be. BUT all seeds will grow into what they're meant to be!
we have part in the growth.
there is a "seed" in my life right now - that i'm going to water... and see where it will go. i just need the sun.
thinking about my business. it was a seed. i went to a party. loved the jewelry. had a great time. loved the advisor. so i hosted a show. did not have a clue that it would turn into a career for me. didn't have a clue that it would change my life. in many ways.
krista going to Australia. started as a seed. a thought to do what she's always dreamed of doing. traveling. seeing the world. experiencing other cultures.
joel in portland and then peru. started off as a seed. furthering his education on his own. then traveling to further academic education and personal education. being immersed in a culture.
mom with her early childhood conferences. she will never know the impact that her "small" seed will have on the early childhood world. her love for children and their education is evident in these conferences. she gives all that she has and loves doing it.
dad with his investment properties. started as a seed. way back when. "if only he had invested sooner" but the point is he's doing it now. he had a dream. a seed a long time ago and now he is pursuing it. he is watering it.
all things in our lives start off as seeds. the possibilities of of the growth are endless. some are meant to grow continually through out life. and some just for a season. looking at the seed we can't know which it will be. it's our job to take care of the seeds we're given.
how will we take care of it? will we choose water it - even when there is doubt that nothing may come from it?
SEEDS GROW. when there is good nutrition. water. good soil. sun. we need to provide the action of "watering" but we can't provide the sun!
not ALL seeds will grow into what WE want them to be. BUT all seeds will grow into what they're meant to be!
we have part in the growth.
there is a "seed" in my life right now - that i'm going to water... and see where it will go. i just need the sun.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Protected
Dad was in the hospital this last week with "multiple blood clots" in his lungs.
They started in his legs and broke up and moved to his lungs. We know that he was protected from the blood clots affecting him in a more tragic way...
I didn't remember that this is what Grandma Wigstadt died from. Looks like it could be genetic so we will all need to get blood tests to see if we have a genetic predisposition to getting blood clots... That aside...
It amazes me that in hard times we're able to SEE what we're made of.
It has been so good for me to experience what my dad and family are made of. We have had a handful of CRUCIAL times together as a family - where we've been able to experience this. I wouldn't WISH hard times on anyone - but I believe it brings us to the core of who we are... Those times are precious to me. They are a gift.
In the times we've gone through - he and my mom have loved us (kids) and have done everything they can to guide us to forgive - and to live life to the fullest by pursuing God!
The whole time he was in the hospital he was letting the "DAD JOKES" fly. He could have written a book with them (actually added to the book that he's already started). He was laughing with everyone who worked for the hospital - and the people that visited. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he would be taken care of. He and my mom never worried. They are strength for us.
I was a bit of a different story... that's not true. I wasn't WORRIED. I just prayed. That he would be ok!
There's a peace knowing that no matter what the outcome would be - that we would be taken care of.
Individually and as a family. There was a point where I questioned if he would be OK... my prayers became "angry" - not angry at God - maybe passionate is the word to use. I prayed that if it was Dad's time to go - that it WOULDN'T BE! There is still too much to do! We need him. I need him to walk me down the aisle - we need him to meet his Grandkids... (someday??) To keep the dad jokes coming! To give us a big bear hug and tell us he loves us. To listen. To pray for us. We need him. I think most feel this way about their parents...
I'm so thankful in God's protection and for parents who trust HIM with their lives and death. Mom knows God would sustain her and us. We know that if we lost each other - it wouldn't be the end. We will see each other again!!
My parents are amazing examples of great love! Great love for God. Great love for each other. Great love for us! Great love for the world around them! I'm thankful that we get to call them our own. That God knew who he was placing in our family and why - that we get to bring that out in each other as we go! He also has a design for who will be added to our family.
Thankful for protection - on so many levels!
They started in his legs and broke up and moved to his lungs. We know that he was protected from the blood clots affecting him in a more tragic way...
I didn't remember that this is what Grandma Wigstadt died from. Looks like it could be genetic so we will all need to get blood tests to see if we have a genetic predisposition to getting blood clots... That aside...
It amazes me that in hard times we're able to SEE what we're made of.
It has been so good for me to experience what my dad and family are made of. We have had a handful of CRUCIAL times together as a family - where we've been able to experience this. I wouldn't WISH hard times on anyone - but I believe it brings us to the core of who we are... Those times are precious to me. They are a gift.
In the times we've gone through - he and my mom have loved us (kids) and have done everything they can to guide us to forgive - and to live life to the fullest by pursuing God!
The whole time he was in the hospital he was letting the "DAD JOKES" fly. He could have written a book with them (actually added to the book that he's already started). He was laughing with everyone who worked for the hospital - and the people that visited. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he would be taken care of. He and my mom never worried. They are strength for us.
I was a bit of a different story... that's not true. I wasn't WORRIED. I just prayed. That he would be ok!
There's a peace knowing that no matter what the outcome would be - that we would be taken care of.
Individually and as a family. There was a point where I questioned if he would be OK... my prayers became "angry" - not angry at God - maybe passionate is the word to use. I prayed that if it was Dad's time to go - that it WOULDN'T BE! There is still too much to do! We need him. I need him to walk me down the aisle - we need him to meet his Grandkids... (someday??) To keep the dad jokes coming! To give us a big bear hug and tell us he loves us. To listen. To pray for us. We need him. I think most feel this way about their parents...
I'm so thankful in God's protection and for parents who trust HIM with their lives and death. Mom knows God would sustain her and us. We know that if we lost each other - it wouldn't be the end. We will see each other again!!
My parents are amazing examples of great love! Great love for God. Great love for each other. Great love for us! Great love for the world around them! I'm thankful that we get to call them our own. That God knew who he was placing in our family and why - that we get to bring that out in each other as we go! He also has a design for who will be added to our family.
Thankful for protection - on so many levels!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
A Good Friend
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Proverbs 27:17 NIV
Solid relationships keep us grounded and accountable. If we start to get off course, they help to keep us on track.
So who are the significant people in your life, the ones you spend the most time with, the ones whose opinions really matter to you? These people are your greatest influences.
The question is, how are they influencing you? To know the answer, ask yourself the following questions:
(1) What does he/she bring out in me? Author William Alan Ward remarked, 'A true friend knows your weaknesses, but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your spirit. Recognizes your disabilities, but emphasizes your possibilities.'
(2) What does he/she think of me? People tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. Indeed, that's what our children grow up to be! We embrace the opinions of those we respect.
(3) What does he/she think of my future? Paul tells Timothy, 'Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young' (1 Ti 4:12 NLT). Do the most important people in your life understand God's plan for you? Do they help or hinder you?
(4) How does he/she behave toward me in difficult times? The solid relationships in your life are those who are slow to suspect, but quick to trust. Slow to condemn, but quick to justify. Slow to offend, but quick to defend. Slow to expose, but quick to shield. Slow to reprimand, but quick to forbear. Slow to belittle, but quick to appreciate. Slow to demand, but quick to give. Slow to provoke, but quick to help. Slow to resent, but quick to forgive.
A good friend shared this with me this morning and I loved it - so I had to post it. Makes me think about the friends in my life. I am thankful that most are these types of friends! It's amazing how different our life is when we surround ourselves with encouraging people!
Love it! Looking forward to new growth in friendships!
Proverbs 27:17 NIV
Solid relationships keep us grounded and accountable. If we start to get off course, they help to keep us on track.
So who are the significant people in your life, the ones you spend the most time with, the ones whose opinions really matter to you? These people are your greatest influences.
The question is, how are they influencing you? To know the answer, ask yourself the following questions:
(1) What does he/she bring out in me? Author William Alan Ward remarked, 'A true friend knows your weaknesses, but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your spirit. Recognizes your disabilities, but emphasizes your possibilities.'
(2) What does he/she think of me? People tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. Indeed, that's what our children grow up to be! We embrace the opinions of those we respect.
(3) What does he/she think of my future? Paul tells Timothy, 'Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young' (1 Ti 4:12 NLT). Do the most important people in your life understand God's plan for you? Do they help or hinder you?
(4) How does he/she behave toward me in difficult times? The solid relationships in your life are those who are slow to suspect, but quick to trust. Slow to condemn, but quick to justify. Slow to offend, but quick to defend. Slow to expose, but quick to shield. Slow to reprimand, but quick to forbear. Slow to belittle, but quick to appreciate. Slow to demand, but quick to give. Slow to provoke, but quick to help. Slow to resent, but quick to forgive.
A good friend shared this with me this morning and I loved it - so I had to post it. Makes me think about the friends in my life. I am thankful that most are these types of friends! It's amazing how different our life is when we surround ourselves with encouraging people!
Love it! Looking forward to new growth in friendships!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Cautiously Hopeful
that's what I am right now.
It is a nice place to be. Cautiously Hopeful. About today. About tomorrow. The near future and the distant future!
I want to invest all that I have now - where I'm at - while looking forward to where I will be.
It is a nice place to be. Cautiously Hopeful. About today. About tomorrow. The near future and the distant future!
I want to invest all that I have now - where I'm at - while looking forward to where I will be.
Friday, March 13, 2009
speachless for about 8 minutes
Me? Yah. Seriously. I had NO CLUE what to say. In an amazing way.
I had dinner last night at Perkins - with one of my dearest friends. We almost didn't go - because of my lack of sleep due to jet lag. I heard the disappointment in her voice - and also was encourage by a friend to go ... so I drove to her house.
SO GLAD THAT I DID.
We started to catch up. I was sharing how my life has been changed in the last few weeks. I mean genuinely changed. It's awesome! I LOVE IT! Then it was her turn. We were going back and forth about what was going on in our lives. She said "Psalms 40" has been amazing chapter in my life." I was like, "No - no - Psalms 40?" That has been the chapter that was 'my chapter' for AU." I was freaking out (in a good way) "spinning out" (in an AU way)... We both started tearing up. And went into detail about what that Chapter has meant to both of us.
It seems that our lives parallel each other in ways that we don't even know... (until we get together) - which we need to do more. How amazing that God has given us each other to be a reflection - to be a mirror. We are so alike that we can see things in the other person - that we wouldn't learn about ourselves - with out the other as a reflection!! You know how they say you have a twin out there somewhere... she's mine! Just separated at birth... by a few years... and um a few states!
I am so thankful for the friendships in my life right now! I've got some of the best friends in the world! I couldn't be more blessed! Each of them bringing something new and different and unique to the table that I NEED. I love it! Life is so colorful!
So here are the verses that caused my speechlessness... because "God is doing a work in me". He cares enough about us EACH to set up people in our lives at specific times for specific reasons to bring specific things out in us. We usually don't realize them until we are "in it" - but when we "fully live" and walk with him - it seems we're more aware of His "orchestration". Man he's GOOD!
Psalms 40:1-4
(Life Application for Students Bible) - going old school my Jr High Bible
"I waited PATIENTLY for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path, and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him. Many blessings are given to those who trust in the Lord and have no confidence in those who are proud or who trust in idols."
SO good to chew on these words...
"I am writing a NEW SONG over your life"
I had dinner last night at Perkins - with one of my dearest friends. We almost didn't go - because of my lack of sleep due to jet lag. I heard the disappointment in her voice - and also was encourage by a friend to go ... so I drove to her house.
SO GLAD THAT I DID.
We started to catch up. I was sharing how my life has been changed in the last few weeks. I mean genuinely changed. It's awesome! I LOVE IT! Then it was her turn. We were going back and forth about what was going on in our lives. She said "Psalms 40" has been amazing chapter in my life." I was like, "No - no - Psalms 40?" That has been the chapter that was 'my chapter' for AU." I was freaking out (in a good way) "spinning out" (in an AU way)... We both started tearing up. And went into detail about what that Chapter has meant to both of us.
It seems that our lives parallel each other in ways that we don't even know... (until we get together) - which we need to do more. How amazing that God has given us each other to be a reflection - to be a mirror. We are so alike that we can see things in the other person - that we wouldn't learn about ourselves - with out the other as a reflection!! You know how they say you have a twin out there somewhere... she's mine! Just separated at birth... by a few years... and um a few states!
I am so thankful for the friendships in my life right now! I've got some of the best friends in the world! I couldn't be more blessed! Each of them bringing something new and different and unique to the table that I NEED. I love it! Life is so colorful!
So here are the verses that caused my speechlessness... because "God is doing a work in me". He cares enough about us EACH to set up people in our lives at specific times for specific reasons to bring specific things out in us. We usually don't realize them until we are "in it" - but when we "fully live" and walk with him - it seems we're more aware of His "orchestration". Man he's GOOD!
Psalms 40:1-4
(Life Application for Students Bible) - going old school my Jr High Bible
"I waited PATIENTLY for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path, and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him. Many blessings are given to those who trust in the Lord and have no confidence in those who are proud or who trust in idols."
SO good to chew on these words...
"I am writing a NEW SONG over your life"
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
JET LAG
Man it sucks! I slept really well last night. Hopefully I can get back to sleep now. Waking up at 3am and 5am is getting old!
Monday, March 9, 2009
on the Top Shelf - Furthest Corner Back
In the closet...
That's where my heart is.
So that I can't reach it.
If someone wants it - they will have to get it through God.
It's not mine to give.
(thank you Kirsta for the analogy!)
I typically give my heart too easily. Someone doesn't have to earn it...
I've read an amazing quote from a friend:
A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek him first to find her...The proof of the DESIRE is in the PURSUIT!!!
Love it!
That's where my heart is.
So that I can't reach it.
If someone wants it - they will have to get it through God.
It's not mine to give.
(thank you Kirsta for the analogy!)
I typically give my heart too easily. Someone doesn't have to earn it...
I've read an amazing quote from a friend:
A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek him first to find her...The proof of the DESIRE is in the PURSUIT!!!
Love it!
my short trip to Australia
was life changing.
I feel like for the last about 8 years I've been walking through life - a bit asleep. I started "dealing with depression" back in 2001... and have struggled off and on with it since.
I didn't value myself enough to wake up. To pursue the best for my life. This usually came in form of a relationship. I settled for what wasn't the BEST. Not really believing that it was out there for me. Not valuing myself enough to just be alone and wait.
There is "a new song" in my life. That is a great summary for my trip!! I didn't go to AU expecting to be changed. But I was. I am. I thought I was just bringing my sister there - that Hillsong would be awesome to go to and I would get over some things... but I didn't expect this.
I'm awake. It feels so good! I worked out with a girlfriend the other night - as I was sharing with her about AU - she said, "it's so good to have SUZY back!"
I'm so thankful that God put the dream in Krista's heart for adventure - to go to AU to live on her own - to be taken out of her comfort zone and truly LIVE life instead of just wishing she could. He's brought her there and is doing an amazing work in her life... AND I got to follow her there. Little did I know...
These are some of the things I learned:
I was asleep.
I have been settling.
I'm SO LOVED.
God cares enough about me to "orchestrate" things that bring me closer to him.
We can have an Authentic, Contagious Love for God.
When we open the door to the Lord in our lives - he walks in. And it is GOOD!
God works ALL THINGS together for my good... no matter the circumstance.
I WON'T struggle with depression the rest of my life.
God is writing a NEW SONG over my life.
I can sing that song daily. It will change daily.
I CAN put my best foot forward - to invest my best in my life.
He loves me. And that is enough.
I am enough for him. Right where I'm at.
I love my family and am SO thankful for them.
I have awesome Friends and wouldn't be the same with out each of them.
Stepping out of our comfort zone is an amazing thing!
LOVE PEOPLE - no matter how long or short they are in your life
(hostel roommies and friends)
"Fully Living" is good.
Faith - Hope and Justice are amazing things that we should pursue.
The Hillsong Church is amazing. To Generalize - the people that we saw and have built relatinosips with have got an authentic, life changing, fruit bearing Love for God. NO ONE is perfect. No Church is perfect - but they are doing something RIGHT and I want a piece of it.
I feel blessed to have been able to go to the land Down Unda. I don't believe my time there is done. I believe I'll be back. I LOVE IT!
I feel like for the last about 8 years I've been walking through life - a bit asleep. I started "dealing with depression" back in 2001... and have struggled off and on with it since.
I didn't value myself enough to wake up. To pursue the best for my life. This usually came in form of a relationship. I settled for what wasn't the BEST. Not really believing that it was out there for me. Not valuing myself enough to just be alone and wait.
There is "a new song" in my life. That is a great summary for my trip!! I didn't go to AU expecting to be changed. But I was. I am. I thought I was just bringing my sister there - that Hillsong would be awesome to go to and I would get over some things... but I didn't expect this.
I'm awake. It feels so good! I worked out with a girlfriend the other night - as I was sharing with her about AU - she said, "it's so good to have SUZY back!"
I'm so thankful that God put the dream in Krista's heart for adventure - to go to AU to live on her own - to be taken out of her comfort zone and truly LIVE life instead of just wishing she could. He's brought her there and is doing an amazing work in her life... AND I got to follow her there. Little did I know...
These are some of the things I learned:
I was asleep.
I have been settling.
I'm SO LOVED.
God cares enough about me to "orchestrate" things that bring me closer to him.
We can have an Authentic, Contagious Love for God.
When we open the door to the Lord in our lives - he walks in. And it is GOOD!
God works ALL THINGS together for my good... no matter the circumstance.
I WON'T struggle with depression the rest of my life.
God is writing a NEW SONG over my life.
I can sing that song daily. It will change daily.
I CAN put my best foot forward - to invest my best in my life.
He loves me. And that is enough.
I am enough for him. Right where I'm at.
I love my family and am SO thankful for them.
I have awesome Friends and wouldn't be the same with out each of them.
Stepping out of our comfort zone is an amazing thing!
LOVE PEOPLE - no matter how long or short they are in your life
(hostel roommies and friends)
"Fully Living" is good.
Faith - Hope and Justice are amazing things that we should pursue.
The Hillsong Church is amazing. To Generalize - the people that we saw and have built relatinosips with have got an authentic, life changing, fruit bearing Love for God. NO ONE is perfect. No Church is perfect - but they are doing something RIGHT and I want a piece of it.
I feel blessed to have been able to go to the land Down Unda. I don't believe my time there is done. I believe I'll be back. I LOVE IT!
the plane ride home - March 6th 2009
This is the first time I haven’t been able to sleep on a plane. I don’t know if it’s because I just don’t want to fall asleep – because that means I’ll have to wake up and know that it is for real…
I have an empty seat on the plane next to me. Which is nice for space sake. I’m glad Krista isn’t next to me – because that would mean her time there would be over also… but I wish I was next to her. I wanted to ask the pilot if he could just turn the plane around – just like I had to ask the shuttle bus driver to do – because I forgot my camera. I think I was in denial that I was going home – so I was completely disorganized in my packing on my way home. It was sort of like a scene from a movie… I realized I didn’t have it – and being my mother’s daughter I HAD to get it! There were pictures I hadn’t downloaded to my computer yet. I thought that I had left my phone – but I could live with out that… and have it sent to me – or get a new one… but my camera – there was no way I could leave that. I had to run off of the bus and set up a meeting place with the bus driver – because he had other stops to make and GET IT.
I ran upstairs to the 3rd floor to what I thought was Krista’s new room… I knocked and no one answered. So I went to Danii’s room (one of our Canadian friends) – but she wasn’t there. So I panicked and went to the front desk. I ran into some other girls from IEP – they had a phone – but I couldn’t remember Krista’s “numba”. Krista and I had been to the front desk about 7 times today…so I asked the girl that had helped us if she could tell me my sister’s room number… she looked it up (with out me giving her our name) and shouted it out – she could tell I was frazzled. I ran up to 319 (not 322) which was 2 doors down and was the door I was knocking on previously… SO CLOSE – she answered, “just a minute” I said, “Babe it’s me” She was like, “SUZ?? What are you doing here?” Total movie scene. I had been crying so much and told her that she said she couldn’t stop crying either… We were both tear faced… I told her everything, found my camera – and asked her to come with me to meet the shuttle.
We were worried for a bit that it wasn’t going to come. But he did! PTL!! We hugged one last time for now. And both started crying. I don’t know why we’re both were so emotional. We’ve done stuff like this before. Her going to college – going on Mission Trips… There is something about traveling to another country and experiencing things together with your best friend… that words can’t express… and you don’t want the experiences to end. You want to be along for the ride! It was the hardest good bye that I’ve had so far…
I’m so excited for her continued time there. I know that everything happens for a reason – and that I’m going home and she’s staying there for a reason. I know that I need to “clean house”. I need to pay off my debt – and as quickly as possible… now I feel like I have motivation I have a reason to focus. I have a goal.
I want to go back. I need to go back. It feels like home there. I don’t know what all is there for me – but there is a huge expectation… Island living is definitely for me!!
I have an empty seat on the plane next to me. Which is nice for space sake. I’m glad Krista isn’t next to me – because that would mean her time there would be over also… but I wish I was next to her. I wanted to ask the pilot if he could just turn the plane around – just like I had to ask the shuttle bus driver to do – because I forgot my camera. I think I was in denial that I was going home – so I was completely disorganized in my packing on my way home. It was sort of like a scene from a movie… I realized I didn’t have it – and being my mother’s daughter I HAD to get it! There were pictures I hadn’t downloaded to my computer yet. I thought that I had left my phone – but I could live with out that… and have it sent to me – or get a new one… but my camera – there was no way I could leave that. I had to run off of the bus and set up a meeting place with the bus driver – because he had other stops to make and GET IT.
I ran upstairs to the 3rd floor to what I thought was Krista’s new room… I knocked and no one answered. So I went to Danii’s room (one of our Canadian friends) – but she wasn’t there. So I panicked and went to the front desk. I ran into some other girls from IEP – they had a phone – but I couldn’t remember Krista’s “numba”. Krista and I had been to the front desk about 7 times today…so I asked the girl that had helped us if she could tell me my sister’s room number… she looked it up (with out me giving her our name) and shouted it out – she could tell I was frazzled. I ran up to 319 (not 322) which was 2 doors down and was the door I was knocking on previously… SO CLOSE – she answered, “just a minute” I said, “Babe it’s me” She was like, “SUZ?? What are you doing here?” Total movie scene. I had been crying so much and told her that she said she couldn’t stop crying either… We were both tear faced… I told her everything, found my camera – and asked her to come with me to meet the shuttle.
We were worried for a bit that it wasn’t going to come. But he did! PTL!! We hugged one last time for now. And both started crying. I don’t know why we’re both were so emotional. We’ve done stuff like this before. Her going to college – going on Mission Trips… There is something about traveling to another country and experiencing things together with your best friend… that words can’t express… and you don’t want the experiences to end. You want to be along for the ride! It was the hardest good bye that I’ve had so far…
I’m so excited for her continued time there. I know that everything happens for a reason – and that I’m going home and she’s staying there for a reason. I know that I need to “clean house”. I need to pay off my debt – and as quickly as possible… now I feel like I have motivation I have a reason to focus. I have a goal.
I want to go back. I need to go back. It feels like home there. I don’t know what all is there for me – but there is a huge expectation… Island living is definitely for me!!
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