I knew that saying good-bye was going to be hard. But I didn't know how hard it actually would be...
Marley has completely stolen my heart and become such an important part of my life!
The week before I left she was so lovey and snuggly! We had time together that we normally don't have... It was precious!
The day I was leaving as I walked upstairs she heard me open the door and came running across the kitchen with her arms spread so wide... It was the most adorable thing!! I think kids may have a sixth sense... She stayed by my side and walked to the door waving goodbye until we drove off.
I knew that saying goodbye for a month would be hard.... She'll be SO big when I get back. I don't have any neices or nephews yet... She's as close as it gets! They are definitely family. Love them and will miss them!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Imagine Me
I've listened to this song many times on days when I didn't know that I needed to be "built up" - but after hearing it felt so encouraged. It's an amazing song by Kirk Franklin... I believe you can watch it on youtube. Some of the verses struck a chord with me. Hope that they do the same for you!
Imagine me
Loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I
I imagine me
In a place of no insecurities
And I'm finally happy cause
I imagine me
Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me
Cause they never did deserve me
Can you imagine me?
Saying no to thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me
Lord, can you imagine me?
Over what my mama said
And healed from what my daddy did
And I wanna live and not read that page again
Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally finally I can...
Imagine me
I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
But finally I can...
Imagine me
Being strong
And not letting people break me down
You won't get that joy this time around
Can you imagine me?
In a world where nobody has to live afraid
Because of your love all fear is gone away
Can you imagine me?
Letting go of my past
And glad I have another chance
And my heart will dance
'Cause I don't have to read that page again
Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone - the storm is over now.
Imagine me
Loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I
I imagine me
In a place of no insecurities
And I'm finally happy cause
I imagine me
Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me
Cause they never did deserve me
Can you imagine me?
Saying no to thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me
Lord, can you imagine me?
Over what my mama said
And healed from what my daddy did
And I wanna live and not read that page again
Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally finally I can...
Imagine me
I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
But finally I can...
Imagine me
Being strong
And not letting people break me down
You won't get that joy this time around
Can you imagine me?
In a world where nobody has to live afraid
Because of your love all fear is gone away
Can you imagine me?
Letting go of my past
And glad I have another chance
And my heart will dance
'Cause I don't have to read that page again
Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone - the storm is over now.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
3 Loves.
When you love someone like a sister - their family is your family. Their kids are like your little nieces and nephews. You love them and "It's kind of CRAZY"
I was babysitting for one of my best friends for their 10th Wedding Anniversary. I put their middle boy down in his crib and then was putting their eldest to bed reading him a book with the baby in my lap (3 boys!)
As I was done with the book we said our prayers and I gave him a hug.
He said, "Love you too... oh wait - you didn't say you love me." (he's 6 years old)
SO I said, "Well I do love you!"
He said, "Wait - but you can't love me - you're not family"
So I said, "Well I'm kind of family - cause Mommy is one of my best friends - so it's ok that I love you."
He said, "Well... (you could tell his little wheels were turning) that's kind of crazy!"
I got to hang out with them again today. It is so weird that we've only known each other for 2 years - it feels like we've BEEN THERE for all of our memories.
Our time together today was precious! Knowing that I'm going to be gone for a while and how much they'll grow in that time... I couldn't really get enough time with them today.
We went to the mall to return a few things. I was in one store and they had moved onto the next. Her middle son - who is now 2 and stole my heart the day I met him was asking "where miss hoo-he? where miss hoo-he?" so cute! We went back to the house and helped put them to bed and I got to cuddle with the baby for a while.
I was about to leave and said my last good bye to their 6 year old... he came running out from his room when he heard the front door open and said,
"Bye Miss Suzy.
Um...
could you call me tomorrow?"
It was the sweetest, cutest, funniest thing. I said, "Sure I'll call you tomorrow!"
We were cracking up so hard - I think I may have shed a few tears!
They are definitely 3 loves in my life!
I forgot how fun and interesting conversations with a 6 year old are! I love it!
I was babysitting for one of my best friends for their 10th Wedding Anniversary. I put their middle boy down in his crib and then was putting their eldest to bed reading him a book with the baby in my lap (3 boys!)
As I was done with the book we said our prayers and I gave him a hug.
He said, "Love you too... oh wait - you didn't say you love me." (he's 6 years old)
SO I said, "Well I do love you!"
He said, "Wait - but you can't love me - you're not family"
So I said, "Well I'm kind of family - cause Mommy is one of my best friends - so it's ok that I love you."
He said, "Well... (you could tell his little wheels were turning) that's kind of crazy!"
I got to hang out with them again today. It is so weird that we've only known each other for 2 years - it feels like we've BEEN THERE for all of our memories.
Our time together today was precious! Knowing that I'm going to be gone for a while and how much they'll grow in that time... I couldn't really get enough time with them today.
We went to the mall to return a few things. I was in one store and they had moved onto the next. Her middle son - who is now 2 and stole my heart the day I met him was asking "where miss hoo-he? where miss hoo-he?" so cute! We went back to the house and helped put them to bed and I got to cuddle with the baby for a while.
I was about to leave and said my last good bye to their 6 year old... he came running out from his room when he heard the front door open and said,
"Bye Miss Suzy.
Um...
could you call me tomorrow?"
It was the sweetest, cutest, funniest thing. I said, "Sure I'll call you tomorrow!"
We were cracking up so hard - I think I may have shed a few tears!
They are definitely 3 loves in my life!
I forgot how fun and interesting conversations with a 6 year old are! I love it!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Timing
background: if you don't know me - I am a queen of procrastination - AND am working at giving up that crown. I don't have my taxes done yet. That may make some gasp (or most). I had gone through all of my paper work with help from my roommate a few months ago (before they were due)... We put everything that had to do with taxes in a box (along with my passport...)
I have a storage closet that was PACKED with boxes and stuff that I just haven't unpacked and have let accumulate (I've lived here for 9 months now so I SHOULD be all unpacked - but I'm also a bit of a pack rat and a "stuffer")... as I write this I'm not sure if I want all of this info out there - but it's ME (for now)
You can't change anything until you see it for what it is. And I think background may be important for this story.
I've been SEARCHING for my tax information since a few weeks after we separated it all (it got mixed in with the other 13 boxes in the closet.) I couldn't find the info and began to have a sinking feeling "WHAT IF it got mixed in with the boxes that I threw away?"
I was on the phone with my sister - we were talking about things in our lives where we need to trust God with our next steps. I told her that I was beginning to worry about my taxes and passport. I told her that "I KNOW that they are in the same box - because I NEEDED to do something with each." We got off the phone and said that we would be praying for each other... LITERALLY within 2 MINUTES... I kid you NOT I found the box with my tax information AND my passport in it!!
WHEW! It was the LAST box in my storage closet! I had looked at it probably about 25 times - but saw empty journals on the top - so thought that I had already gone through it.
That's REALLY beside the point. (I know I get a little wordy). The point is: There's no reason that I should have found it that day - that moment - and not earlier... except that it was edifying and encouraging to both my sister and I. We both needed a reminder that we CAN trust him! With EVERY detail of our lives.
I had to laugh for a little while at the timing...
It was perfect for both of us!
I have a storage closet that was PACKED with boxes and stuff that I just haven't unpacked and have let accumulate (I've lived here for 9 months now so I SHOULD be all unpacked - but I'm also a bit of a pack rat and a "stuffer")... as I write this I'm not sure if I want all of this info out there - but it's ME (for now)
You can't change anything until you see it for what it is. And I think background may be important for this story.
I've been SEARCHING for my tax information since a few weeks after we separated it all (it got mixed in with the other 13 boxes in the closet.) I couldn't find the info and began to have a sinking feeling "WHAT IF it got mixed in with the boxes that I threw away?"
I was on the phone with my sister - we were talking about things in our lives where we need to trust God with our next steps. I told her that I was beginning to worry about my taxes and passport. I told her that "I KNOW that they are in the same box - because I NEEDED to do something with each." We got off the phone and said that we would be praying for each other... LITERALLY within 2 MINUTES... I kid you NOT I found the box with my tax information AND my passport in it!!
WHEW! It was the LAST box in my storage closet! I had looked at it probably about 25 times - but saw empty journals on the top - so thought that I had already gone through it.
That's REALLY beside the point. (I know I get a little wordy). The point is: There's no reason that I should have found it that day - that moment - and not earlier... except that it was edifying and encouraging to both my sister and I. We both needed a reminder that we CAN trust him! With EVERY detail of our lives.
I had to laugh for a little while at the timing...
It was perfect for both of us!
The way we are...
"Loving a person just the way they are - that's no small thing" - Sarah Groves
Seeing someone for who they are - accepting them as they are. Honesty - being authentic with each other. Why is this such a hard thing?
We are who we are. We are all in process. We all have our quirks and short comings. We all have amazing gifts and abilities! We have things that we need to improve on and things that we do well.
We NEED people who will speak "life" into our lives!! Who will call us out on our crap. Who will cry with us when we cry. Pray with us when we need support. Who will truly HEAR us and SEE us - when we're in a place of need - people who will reach out in genuine love.
I wish that we could all see ourselves the way we should. That we would live how we should. That we would know LOVE - and give love!
When we know who we are - we know what we can give and we want to bring out the best in everyone else around us!
When we know who we are we don't HAVE to worry about ourselves. We are strong enough to give - because of the love within us!
I pray that a few dear people in my life would truly begin to know themselves and each other again! That they would EACH put the other person before themselves. That their eyes would be open to the pain - that they would see IT for what it is - and that there would be healing.
Seeing someone for who they are - accepting them as they are. Honesty - being authentic with each other. Why is this such a hard thing?
We are who we are. We are all in process. We all have our quirks and short comings. We all have amazing gifts and abilities! We have things that we need to improve on and things that we do well.
We NEED people who will speak "life" into our lives!! Who will call us out on our crap. Who will cry with us when we cry. Pray with us when we need support. Who will truly HEAR us and SEE us - when we're in a place of need - people who will reach out in genuine love.
I wish that we could all see ourselves the way we should. That we would live how we should. That we would know LOVE - and give love!
When we know who we are - we know what we can give and we want to bring out the best in everyone else around us!
When we know who we are we don't HAVE to worry about ourselves. We are strong enough to give - because of the love within us!
I pray that a few dear people in my life would truly begin to know themselves and each other again! That they would EACH put the other person before themselves. That their eyes would be open to the pain - that they would see IT for what it is - and that there would be healing.
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