Friday, December 2, 2011

lovely

love·ly  (lvl)

1. Full of love; loving.
2. Inspiring love or affection.
3. Having beauty that appeals to the emotions as well as to the eye. 
4. Enjoyable; delightful.
 
I heard this song 
{side note: parts of this song are not about anyone in particular - 
I just liked it - having struggled with insecurity for the majority of my life}
and had to share it for those who have felt or feel
unlovable and insecure. 
 
You Are Lovely.
{it is a GOOD place to feel lovely}

Hope you enjoy the words of this song. 

I don't wanna be her
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what give you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am


I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can't be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing
 
I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am


I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me

Am I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me

Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am

song by:
Sara Haze

Saturday, November 26, 2011

there's something about his voice

"I WILL NOT TAKE MY LOVE AWAY"

I will not take my love away
When praises cease and seasons change
while the whole world turns the other way
I will not take my love away
I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there's no yield for what you've sown
I will not leave you all alone
I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty
Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need
I will not take my love away

MATT WERTZ

has got one of those voices that makes me stop.
no matter where I am or what I'm doing
I have to pay attention.

This song made me tear up.
Tonight was the first time I've heard it.

It's a beautiful song.
I had to share it.
Hope it stops you in your routine.
Take a minute to listen.

there's something about his voice



You've got to hear the studio recorded version... this recording doesn't really do it justice.
{I'm not sure if the link will work but it's worth a try...}

listen here

Monday, November 7, 2011

unexpected closure

Relationships
come and go.
the only choice we can make is our own.

Some leave too quickly and there is nothing you can do about it.
Some stay for longer than they probably should.
Others come in and out of your life multiple times.


unexpected closure
is a nice thing to have.
it's peaceful.
not sought after {unexpected}.
one day it's just there.

Do you share it with that person ... or keep it to yourself?

I was told by my life coach,
"You don't need to demonize someone to get over them!"
I wish that I would have known that and practiced it years ago. 

When there's closure there seems to be more room for friendship and an honesty
that may not have been fully known in the prior relationship. 

I enjoy the unexpected... it keeps me on my toes. 
Good. Bad. Ugly. Beautiful.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

the gift

of being single.

If you would have told me as I was growing up that I would be single at 30
I wouldn't have believed you. 


There's no way. 
"I was meant to be married..." 
I've heard so many times.

If you would have told me that I would be single at 30 and think of it as a gift...
I would have laughed in your face.

I've "wanted to be married since I was 2"

Many people talk about "YOUR 30s" and how they are the best years.
You know yourself.
You haven't "figured life out" and are OK with it... because you realize FINALLY that you'll never have it all figured out.
Your Skin Feels More Comfortable.


I love my 30's so far!
There was a switch that has gone off
I don't worry much anymore
I have lived enough to know that:

no matter what I face I will get through
that life is what I put into it
I have big girl panties and they are good to wear - not just talk about
I will always LOVE with all that I am - I can't turn that switch off
I appreciate relationships and need them - all sorts of them
I want to KNOW people and invest all that I can.

I've always believed that I wasn't made to be single.
So I would search or go with what was in front of me - instead of being content. 
But right now being single is a gift. 

I am enjoying the gift. 


There is something about looking at yourself.
Seeing the things that you can't change. 
{who you are - no matter what - your core}
and the things that can and should be improved.

I am thankful for the gift 
{FOR NOW...}

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 27: of {30 til 30}

"HAPPY Birth-ANNIVERSARY!"


Makien and Hannah were waiting for me in the hallway at TLC at the end of my shift today.

They both jumped up and yelled, "Happy Birthday."
                                    "Happy Anniversary!"

It was adorable!  
Doesn't matter what it is... it's HAPPY and said with every once of excitement they had!


 I got to be involved in another FIRST...

Mik & Hannah's FIRST mani!

HOW SWEET IS THAT??
We've decided {well the girls suggested}
that we should do this more, "and next time... we should get pedis too"
I'm in. On each of their "birth-anniversaries" the 3 of us will go.

They are so sweet!  They are family too!
I've known both of them since they were born.

Morning and good bye hugs everyday are so precious to me!  

Thank you girls for such a great time!  
LOVE YOU!!









Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day 26: of {30 til 30}


Leslie Jones
is family. 

Her smile is contagious. 
Her concern is genuine. 
Her advice is open. 
Her love is deep. 
Her laughter is uplifting. 
Her hugs are tight. 
Her friendship is irreplaceable. 
She is constant and giving. 


Leslie has been in my life for about 20 years. 
I am so thankful to work with her now - but more for the friendship. 
She is like a big sister. 


Have you ever seen something and thought, "I'd love to get one of those" but you don't ever ask someone - because that would be weird.?
That's what I thought about Edible Arrangements

I've seen them and thought about giving one... but didn't REALLY think I'd get one. 




I got one today. 
Leslie said that she's always wanted to give one...
Perfection. 
She thought of everything... I get to keep the mug {for my smoothies} it has kale in it {for my smoothies} AND it's really pretty!  

I had to have the white/dark chocolate covered banana and then... share the rest! 



THANK YOU LES!  
Love You.



Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Day 25: of {30 til 30}

DOUBLE DIPPED... 

twice.
TWO PEOPLE in ONE date. 
TWO DATES in ONE day.

I was told to meet at LEGO land @ 6:30 or so... I was running late.
As I got there I had a feeling someone was watching me.

"LEGO land" that's pretty vague...
IN LEGO land...
in FRONT of it.
in the BACK where you build things...

So I stood in the front for a little bit.
Then walked THROUGH... looking intently at every person
{kind of felt like a creeper}
Made my way to the back and waited... about to turn around to go through again
I got tackled and heard squeals...

WOO HOO!  
It was Kate and Staci!!

Ahhh!!
STACI AGAIN!
I love it!
I seriously could have burst with excitement.

I was a little nervous about this one... because who wants to meet me at LEGO land?
AND... I'm kind of running out of people!
OH - Krista asked me if I like sushi... so I had a feeling we'd be having sushi.

It was a perfect night.
With my Best Friend.
And Her Best Friend.
{you know how that works - they meet each other and have an amazing friendship then you meet the other and get along just as well... I LOVE IT!!  I love Kate!  And I love the title of "My best friend's Best Friend"}  That's what I am for her too!

there was girl talk - sushi - a hilarious server and TIME together.

That's what I'm learning through out all of this.
We need to MAKE time for each other. 
I never regret spending too much time with someone. 
I do regret not spending enough!

I couldn't have asked for a better night... or sushi experience!

PS... excited for Halloween!!


LOVE YOU BOTH TO THE MOON!

{sorry the pics are gritty - the lighting was horrible and we were getting dirty looks from other tables}











Day 25: of {30 til 30}

I got to go on a FIRST DATE!!

{not just a first date with someone ... but someONE's first date!}

How sweet is this?

I've known Preston Wenge since he was born.  He is like my little cousin. 
He is so sweet and was so polite!

I walked into Caribou and saw him sitting there - with a sign
"DAY 25" and this big cute smile on his face. 



I was a bit confused because Karen {his mom} was there also... but she was just his choufer


He walked me up to the counter and asked me what I'd like
then he ordered and the cashier asked if it would be together and looked at me
I just waited and smiled - as he looked up and said, "I got it..."



We waited for our drinks and had a bit of small talk.
Football.  Harry Potter.  What his favorite subject in school was.

He said it was reading and math
{two things that I definitely didn't excel at}


I asked him what his favorite book was.
He said it's a series about Greek Mythology - the Percy Jackson series. 
{I watched the movie about it ... so I could hold my own}
He said that I could borrow the series if I wanted to.
His face just lit up about it.




THEN
he taught me how they long divide now
{I can't think of the name of it... but he's REALLY good at it}
I had to whip out my phone to make sure his answers were correct.

I showed him how I learned {or didn't learn} to long divide.
He said, "OH... that's 'OLD SCHOOL'."
haha. I guess it is.
I've never been told that I'm OLD SCHOOL on a first date.

He had to get back to school so we made our way back to TLC.


I'm so excited that I got to be his first date!
I'll be able to tell the story at his wedding!

Thank you Preston for being such a gentleman 
and GREAT first date!!




HE EVEN PICKED OUT MY GIFT...
it's a corn bag that you can heat up or "put it in a plastic bag and use it as an ice pack"
{the fabric is even my style!  I love it!!}

SERIOUSLY - Karen and Jason - you've done WELL!!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Day 23: of {30 til 30}

My Aunt Julie

I've never known how similar my Aunt Julie and I are...

this was one of the best surprises...
I am a sucker for back massages!! 

I didn't know that Julie had a massage table and that she could give massages... ALSO - most people think that they're going to "break me" when they give me a massage - but Julie listened to me when I said that she can't - and I like deep tissue massages! 

She had our whole basement set up as a spa!!  Candles and everything!  There was a heating pad at my feet {they are ALWAYS cold} and a space heater with a sheet hung by the stairs to keep the warmth in.

It was so thoughtful and special to me! 

We got to talk for a few hours after the massage.  I am so thankful for this time with my friends and family.  Not only just being in the same space with them... but getting to know them more.  It makes me crave time with my family!  Why haven't we done things like this before?

spending TIME together.  I loved it.  And definitely want to get together more!

Thank you Julie for your time and for using something that you love to make me feel completely special and loved. 

Love you!! 




SO RELAXED!


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Day 22: of {30 til 30}

ASHLEY {holt} AMMERMANN
has got to be one of the sweetest most precious girls I know. 

She is Krista's best friend and a sister to me!  
She is not only beautiful on the outside - but she has got the most tender heart AND she always smells wonderful ;)  Thank you for stopping by - I had no clue that I was having an "in person" surprise - but it was so nice to see you before you and Matt go to London!!  

 I'm so glad you're in our lives and that I get to call you Sis!  
{Your mom is pretty stinking amazing too!}  
Love you Ash!  
Can't wait to hang out {soon... hopefully!}  



Saturday, October 15, 2011

Day 21: of {30 til 30}

Getting picked up at my house, for a surprise is A BIT intimidating!

I was HOPING that it would be Staci! 

I opened the door and Stace SCREAMED "SURPRISE". 
I jumped back, freaked out - even though I knew it was coming. 
I couldn't stop smiling!!  ALL NIGHT!

That's what every time with Staci is.
My belly hurts from laughing whenever we're together...
who needs the gym?

I never thought that a game of "communist church" our sophomore year would bring such an amazing friendship!

You are my best friend. 
Deep.
Beautiful.
Funny.
Protective.
Loving.
Soft.
Honest.
Inspiring.
Enlightening.
Strong.
Sensitive.
Inviting.
Crafy.
Quirky.
Loving.
Protective.
{yes I did say those twice}.
AMAZING hugger.
Talented.
Gorgeous.
Fashionable.
Comfortable.
HOME.
Anytime we are together I feel at home!  

Whether it's hanging out eating sugar cookies and frosting because we NEED each other to get through the "JOYS" of life.  Or we're REALLY enjoying life - our families - our friends - BFs or former BFs :)  
LIFE IS JUST BETTER WITH YOU!

We decided in High School that we'd be friends till we're 68 ... and then we'd decide {on HER birthday since she's younger}... the rules are that no matter where we're living we HAVE to see each other at least ONCE a YEAR until we're 68.  I think that we're going to have to prolong it a bit.  Pretty sure I'd love to be neighbors in an "assisted living" home with her!

Thank you for loving me how you do. 
And for loving everyone around you.
You have an empathy that is almost unknown.
We've been through a lot on our own - but have never been alone - because we've had each other.

I love you more than I can say!  


"Dad... just take pictures... like Mom would.  Just candid"
- Poor Dave -
He did a good job though... capturing the moment!


I love the cheek to cheek smile and your scrunched up nose. 



Friday, October 14, 2011

Day 20: of {30 til 30}

 Ms. Traci Romine is one of my best friends.
I met her about 4 years ago - but she feels like a friend I've known my whole life.

We met while I was working and she was shopping.  She needed a girls night ... and I needed some excitement at the party... she walked in and lit up the room.  With her southern accent and huge smile - I knew we'd be good friends... or at least that I WANTED to be friends.

Now 4 years later we've been through so much in life together.  I feel like our friendship works so well because there are times it feels like we're THE SAME PERSON - just separated by a {few ;) years}... and then we're different enough to keep each other on our toes.

She has got the 3 most beautiful little boys.
{I knew she was pregnant with her youngest before they did... long story}.

Typically {for the surprises} I get from Krista where and when I'm supposed to be "someplace"

All that I knew about today was:  it's "all day" and you'll be picked up.

You'd think that by this point in the game I'd be used to being surprised... 


NOPE. 

You never know where the person is... or WHO the person is.
So I find myself walking slower {way slower} looking EVERYWHERE.
Hoping that I don't make a fool of myself - or that they don't prolong the surprise...

I was walking to my car and saw a door fling open and in a loud high pitched voice:
"SURPRISE" and then a lot of giggles!

I squealed too and was giggling for a few minutes I'm sure.


Traci was in Texas - visiting her dad.
{or so I thought} 
I didn't know when she was getting back.
I didn't think she was home
{or it would have been all over FB... sneaky sneaky!



We went to Perkins - our favorite place together.  Old habits die hard.
The first time we hung out was at Perkins - for about 4 hours or so
we closed the place down - or opened it...

Then we went to Chili's for their
"White Chocolate Molten Lava Cake"

SO... you know it's been too long since you've "actually" hung out and had time just with the girls when at BOTH of your favorite and BOTH of their menus have changed.

The sweet thing is that no matter the circumstance or place you're at; when you're with the people you love - nothing else matters and it's a blast.

So here are some pics of my awesome Surprise of Ms. Romine and her boys!
{she's a Mrs. I just don't like saying Mrs. for my married friends... it makes me feel old... or that they are old}



 {I guess I say this a lot... SO TRUE!}




Thursday, October 13, 2011

Day 19: of {30 till 30}

"I think that's my Aunt Lisa in the window!"

back story:
The classroom that I work in has a little window in the door and my co-worker said, "Um... who is that?"  I had my back to the door playing with the babes.  I turned and said,
"I think that's my Aunt Lisa!"

My face turned bright red {surprise surprise} it does that whenever I'm excited - nervous - happy - really anytime there is anything unexpected my face FLUSHES. 

I opened the door and saw my Uncle Dave standing there with Daisies!  
How sweet!  Krista told me that I wasn't getting an in person surprise today - I had NO CLUE!  It was surreal to me - because I wasn't expecting "something" in person today.  

How fun! 

Lisa and Dave are always the life of the party and practical jokers.  My Uncle Dave doesn't really like his picture taken... so it's my mom's goal to get a picture of him.  I'm the peacemaker and like to compromise... SO - now they're both happy {I think} :)



One of my favorite memories of my Uncle Dave is when I was in Junior High - I would babysit my cousin Danny during the week.  He'd pick me up from school and ask me, "How was your day."  I don't think he knew at the beginning that he would get a car full of answers.  I'd talk pretty much the whole way to their house.  He still teases me about saying, "But that's OK."  I'd be in the middle of a story or a sentence and say, "But that's OK... but that's OK."  He started to say, "Is that OK?" every time I'd say it.  I didn't even realize that I said it so much - until he repeated it.  I'm not sure how much longer it lasted.

My aunt Lisa can take credit for how I take my corners while driving.  I remember one specific time she was driving me home from TLC, we were turning on my street and she asked, "has your mom taught you how to take corners?"...  "No...?"  So she said you break half way through and then press on the gas.  I'm sure I was taking the corners completely wrong.  Now I just need to watch out for the curbs.

Thank you Lisa and Dave for stopping by and surprising me at work.  It made my day!

Thank you for the daisies and the card!  They mean so much to me.

Love you! 
{Hills - Danny and Julie included!}