a familiar conversation

I love relationships.

With out them - we have nothing.

But we shouldn't stay in them (romantic relationships) to have "something".

I've had a familiar conversation with multiple friends lately. 

Many of my unmarried friends are at the point where they've been dating someone for 2+ years... and are wondering if they should take the "next step".  They've gotten to the point that they've been together for too long to "just" be dating... but may not be "ready" for marriage. 

I've had too many of these conversations with the same thoughts and advice to not write about it. I heard a statistic that 1 out of 3 engagements are broken.  And 40-50% of marriages end in divorce (in the US). 

These statistics are incredible - and can be lowered.  By being honest with ourselves in what we want and need.  And by seeing perspective life mates for WHO they are - not who we want them to be.   

I don't know much about relationships but I love learning and growing in them... So here are a few questions that I've learned to ask.  

1. If nothing changed in your relationship TODAY for the rest of your life, would you be satisfied?

2. Are you on the same page with your morals and values?

3. Does your significant other bring out the best in you? How do they handle the worst in you?

4. Do they encourage you to pursue your desires?

5. How do you each handle money?

6. Do you want to RAISE children with them? (not just to have kids... but raise them together)

7. Do they make effort for relationships with your friends and family? Do your friends and family like them?

8. Do they love themselves enough to know who they are and what they want out of life?

9. Do you HAVE FUN with them? Do you laugh... A LOT?

10. Are you a priority in their life? Do they communicate and show you?

It's not worth it to settle for someone that may be "good" but isn't the best. 

Life is too short when you're with the right person...

Life is too long when you're with the wrong person.

Breakups Suck!!  (understatement... I HATE them.  I cried when Nick and Jessica broke up and I don't even know them) but the heartache for a period of time is worth the Love of a Lifetime.

I believe we each have an innate desire for "eternal" relationships. That's why breaking up with someone hurts so much.  We want it to last!  We have a longing in our hearts in our BEING to belong to someone. 

To Be:

Loved Deeply.

Cared for Completely.

Supported Unwaveringly.

Listened to intently.

To Have:

Conflict with resolution.

Communication that brings the Best.

Partnership no matter the situation.

Unspeakable Joy.

Unmatched Intimacy.

All this to say... I don't know what any of my friends should do - except to be honest.  See yourself for who you are.  See your SO for who they are.  

Don't settle for less than the best... if the person you're with is it.  AMAZING!  If they're not - it's worth it to hold out for the person who is.

with Love.S