God's response

to a nightmare 
IS A DREAM. 

I am dreaming for this year. 

2011 was not what I expected - BUT GOD. 

He uses all things to work together for my good 

and the good of those who love Him according to His purpose. 

I am excited for what this year will bring!

Today is a new day. 

an exciting day. 

a beautiful day.

I will remember today as a celebration of {LIFE} 

not the death that could have been.

dreams. desires.

are a funny thing.

they change. and grow.
they can shrink. and come back.

I've heard the verse,
"God will give you the desires of your heart."
to try to console me in situations in life.

good intentions. good words.
amazing promise.

God IS giving me the desires of my heart.
it is not what people are assuming it is.

I usually get through things and understand them with pictures.

I have a picture in my head of a Gallon of water.
there is a teaspoon of food coloring that is dropped into the container.
the water is colored.  it's not CLEAR.
but as it moves through the water it becomes more transparent.
people naturally want to see and pay attention to the color that is fading

the teaspoon of food coloring with out the water seems bold.
but as it's poured into the water it changes.

I am more concerned about the water than the food coloring.

the gallon of water is my life. 
my whole life.
the joy.
the dreams.
rekindled love.
knowing that my future is already planned.
it is my choice to pursue it.
to move.
to know my deep desires.

My desires are to:

Love the Lord with all of my heart. 

My mind. 

My soul. 

In all of my ways acknowledge him. 

My desires are not attached to a person.
they are not attached to a title.
they are not attached to a life style.


They ARE attached to Him.
it's funny how desires change.
God has given me the desire of my heart. 
Him.


I am excited for the dreams that were planted MANY years ago have been rekindled and will be fulfilled.  {with no due date attached.}

SPARKLE conference 2011 {HOPE}

here are some bite sized pieces of what I heard from this weekend at SPARKLE.

hope you enjoy and are touched in an area that you need.

God is preparing you.
For what He has prepared FOR you.

God doesn't have expiration dates.
When He promises. He fulfills.
In His timing.

There is no reason to limit God, to the possible.

God is incredibly interested in the small details of your life.
{He knows the numbers on your head - when you sit and stand}

We confuse God's "due season" for a "due date"

Between 2 laughs... 

Genesis 18:10-14

 ¹⁰“I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”
Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. ¹¹ Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. ¹² So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”
 ¹³ Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ ¹⁴ Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

Sarah was limiting God to the natural 

We try to explain away God's promises and rationalize why they haven't happened. When we start to do God's job for Him - we do dumb things!

If I had fulfilled the promise before the appointed time... you would abort it in the natural.  You haven't Judged Me Faithful yet...

God very often and very rarely does things the way we think He shouldn't.

God's thoughts are so much higher than ours.  Will we trust Him with that space in between?

He who promised IS FAITHFUL.

Genesis 21:1-2, 6

The Birth of Isaac

 ¹ Now the LORD was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did for Sarah what he had promised. ² Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.  ⁶ Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.”

She was filled with laughter at the promise fulfilled.

{Go from the laughter of unbelief
To laughter of Faith and hope}

the very thing the enemy wanted to take you out with
God will use for His glory and your good.

You can't accept the promises of God until you have an authentic relationship with God.

You can start "bad" and finish "good" Chris is an amazing example of this
{left at birth "unnamed and unwanted - just a number.  Abused starting at the age of 3 - for 12 years}

she is "living her life every day to make the enemy REGRET what he tried to do to her - how he tried to take her out!"  - awesome way to look at life.  Living LIFE to the FULLEST.  No matter where and what we came from.  It doesn't mean that we have amnesia about the past - it is just used and transformed through Hope of a Future!


These are some notes from our first night of Sparkle with Chris Caine. 
She is amazing.  She is a spit fire!  She is IN LOVE with Jesus and knows who He is in that she knows who she is!

So thankful that I went this weekend!
It was a continuation of the story God is writing in my life.

"Why Pray?."

a person dear to me and instrumental in my life
asked this question.

"why pray?"

I was a bit surprised at the question and they were too.
they wondered why they were asking it but didn't run from it.
they pursued the answer.

knowing that asking this question 
is not questioning God or their faith
it is a fair question and that no question is too big of a question.


"If God is 
Omnipotent {all powerful}
Omniscient {all wise and all knowing}
Omnipresent {always present}


why do we pray - when He can just DO THINGS.  
He can DO whatever He wants."


The answer that my dear friend got was:


"Everything has got a Natural progression. 
Cause and Effect. 
If one thing happens - there is a natural response.


PRAYING CAN CHANGE THAT NATURAL RESPONSE OR PROGRESSION. "

I like that. I experienced it yesterday. 

{this BLOG is 2 parts - started 2 weeks and sat as a draft until now.  I didn't know where I wanted to go with it.  The words weren't coming - I'm going a completely different way now than when I started writing - because I've experienced something that I believe proves it's true} so stay with me if you can...

Thursday morning 9/22/11
I got to work @ 7:30 - parked my car in the same place I do everyday.
I grabbed my belongings and went in.
{I saw my computer out of the corner of my eye - but didn't grab it.  It was on the floor of the passenger side}

Our center is making a transition to using more environmentally friendly cleaning products that will also save on expenses... one of the teachers asked when they would get their mop for their room. That I forgot in my car - so I ran to my car "quickly" to get it.

Little did I know that when I went to my car for the mop this would be what I found.

I was in shock.
my car didn't look like MY CAR I wondered for a second if it even was my car.
but I KNEW that it was.
Those moments replay in my mind in slow motion.
seconds felt like hours.
I ran into the building to let the director know that my car had been broken into
and my laptop was gone.
The police were immediately called and I called my insurance company


Through out this time people were giving me hugs saying they were praying for me.
Praying that it would all work out how it's supposed to!
I cried a little - but then went into survival mode.

It took almost an hour for the cop to get there.
He was very nice, calm and sweet.
He helped with everything and told me to call them with the serial number and he'd let me know as he knew anything but it would probably be at least a day or more.

I went home to find the serial number for my computer.
I asked my dad if he could help me find it.
He was pretty upset that someone would do this {as a papa bear is}.
We searched for a little while and he told me after I found it,
"I was reminded to forgive whoever did this... though I didn't FEEL like forgiving them - I chose to"
I yelled out "Found It!"
this was seconds after he decided to forgive them.

I called the cops with the serial number - so if it showed up in a pawn shop they would have it listed as missing.  The Cop said that this was probably the best thing that could happen.  I asked him,  "about what percentage of missing computers come back?" and he said, "I haven't seen one come back in a case like this.'

My personality has typically been one that worries.  Quite a bit.
I would mask it with "I'm just looking out for people"
but worrying is not a good thing.  What good will it bring.
This is a change that's been taking place in my life. 

On 9/22/11 I did not worry. 
I was concerned about what I would do if it wasn't returned - but I didn't worry.


I prayed, 
"Lord, whoever took my computer - STOP THEM IN THEIR TRACKS.  Make them distracted or do something they weren't planning on doing - and bring my computer back."

I had no doubt in my mind that I would get it back.
There was a Peace that goes beyond what I understand - that the Bible says we can have.
I had it!

I drove back to the center to take care of things there.
A man came to fix my window right away {that was awesome}

AND THEN I GOT A CALL...

"Ms. Wigstadt, It's Officer __________.  How is your afternoon going?"

"I'm good besides the fact that I don't have a window in my car and my computer is gone... but you know..."

"Well... it's about to get A LOT better."

"What...?  Shut Up!  They found my lap top!!?  Are you saying they found my laptop?"

"We've got your computer!  It's exactly how you described it."

That morning on the ride into work I was singing, "You make all things work together for my good" over and over.  I love that song.  There are days that I believe that with all of my heart and there are days that believing it or accepting it is harder.  It wasn't hard today.  I started off the day knowing and enjoying the fact that no matter what would happen that "all things work together for the good of those who love him"... Man I love Him!

I went down to the police station and got my computer.
They had also taken a few more things.
I got it ALL BACK!  Yesterday!  With in hours of when it happened.
{They said this NEVER happens} :)

The NATURAL PROGRESS in a situation like this is:
Something is stolen.
You report it.
Can take forever to get it reported and for follow up.
Usually you don't get it back.
File an insurance claim.
Pay a deductible.
Never FULLY get back what you've lost. But it is replaced.

Prayer was the tool for God to intervene and MAKE {HE MAKES ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD} he does it... not the prayer - prayer is just the tool for Him to do it!

What DID happen is:
a couple {1 male, 1 female} broke into my care between 9:00 - 9:20am
stole my lap top etc.
went to another car in a town home complex a few miles away
they were rummaging through a car and an elderly man saw them
it was HIS car
he confronted them and asked what they were doing
they drove off
the elderly man got the license plate number
man called the cops.
the cops found the car
called it in and SAW MY laptop 
they called me and said that they had it.

While they were trying to steal from someone else
we were praying that they would be stopped in their tracks and my possessions returned.

With out prayer - I believe that natural cause and effect happen.  There is a natural course and progression that life takes.  We make choices and the results of the choices shouldn't really surprise us.  I believe God can save us even when we make choices outside of his will.

His will is that none of us should perish.
His will is that we would have abundant life and live it to the fullest.
His will is that the JOY of the Lord would be our strength.
His will is that we would love Him because He first loved us.

He shows me His love in so many small ways through out the day.
and in the HUGE things like protecting my livelihood.  

I am so thankful that Prayer can and DOES change the Natural Course and progression of life!

I've got my "babies" back.
Stella {my car} is fixed.
she's so much prettier with out a smashed window.
My laptop is being used to type this BLOG and upload and edit images.

Thank you for your prayers.
"why pray?." 
because it changes things!

timing

I know that my timing is not impeccable.
but HIS IS.

I am more aware of EVERYTHING in life right now.
I am watching closely all of my moves.
I am living with purpose and taking in each day as it comes.
I am pursuing the things that I dream about instead of just dreaming.
I am thankful for this new found place in life.

I have known in my head that God's timing is impeccable.
but I haven't necessarily known it with my heart.
or it could possibly be the opposite.

I trust God.
I trust Him that
"His ways are higher than mine"
"the JOY of the Lord is my strength"
"He knows when I sit and when I rise.
He knows the numbers of hairs on my head"
"He has my tears bottled"
"His plans for me are of a hope and a future"

I have wanted things in my life to progress faster than they do.
Healing. Motivation. Questions of "why am I where I am"
but then God proves Himself.
That His timing is perfect.
Though I itch for things to go faster.

When there is something scheduled in my life and it is rescheduled
{it wasn't time for that yet}
I'd rather be in His timing than my own - because I know that His is the best.

Catching up with old friends has been amazing.
Talking with my Life Coach - is what it's supposed to be - life giving.

I have seen now that if I hadn't gone through the places that I've been - physically, spiritually, emotionally I wouldn't be able to give what I can now give and be where I'm supposed to be. 

There's a point where a light bulb goes off ... and you think "this all was worth it - if only for this one thing"  I may not understand everything, but I do know that God's timing is impeccable!

in my weakness

2 Corinthians 8:3

for I can testify that they gave not only what they could afford - but far more.

I am learning to give out of my weaknesses in addition to my strengths.  It's easy to do what comes easy to me - but what about manning up to what is NOT easy for me... and doing it.  Whatever {it} is.  for me... here is me in my weakness:

lack of follow through
lack of motivation
spending too much $
talking too much
waisting time
moving slowly
accountability
attitude/heart

BUT.

"You have a faithful and compassionate High Priest who knows you intimately. He is willing to use His sward to sever anything that holds you back from Him.  He wants every unhealthy soul tie severed so only health will remain.  He will send His words to heal and restore your soul.  His angels will go where you now fear to tread and return every broken fragment of your soul back to you."

I found a BIG post it note with this written on it and thought that I would blog it. 

It was a time when I was having a really hard time with the mirror of my life.  The mirror that showed me a lot of the things that I wasn't doing... but now I see that in my weakness God can be and is glorified.  I don't have to have it all together.  I am a work in progress.  His progress. 

He wants me to have the best life possible.  He doesn't want anything attached to me that will hold me back.  So I will walk in that.  Knowing that in my weakness He is strong.  I am too - through Him.